LEAVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Posted by Nicole Bowman on Thursday, June 21, 2012
A special thank you goes out to everyone who supported my radio broadcast "Exploring Abusive Relationships" on Blog Talk Radio Tuesday June 19, 2012 at 1130pm eastern time.

During the show we explored the verbally abusive relationship and briefly touched on how to break free from the situation.

Much of what I will discuss in this blog is based on my personal experience of leaving a verbally abusive relationship & beginning the healing process.

Here are some action steps you can take to step into your power:

Step 1: Recognize that there is a problem. (If your partner constantly diminishes your intelligence, goals, dreams or isolates you from friends & family they are trying to control your behavior and this is abuse. A great example of this would be a partner who monitors your phone calls, follows you to places such as work or the grocery store, and perhaps even insists that you dress only in a way they deem acceptable)

Step 2: Write your feelings down. ( In order to move forward you need to unearth what you are feeling inside. By writing down what you feel you get a clearer sense of where you are at emotionally and then you get a clearer sense of where you want to go. If you are accepting abuse, chances are your self esteem needs a pick me up. You need to address this in order to change and move forward.)

Step 3: Create an action plan. ( It's all about baby steps. You don't have to leave the relationship tomorrow but if you are unhappy begin to take steps that help you let go. Perhaps you need to find a job, move, or get a new car. Treat this process the same way you would treat an employment search or college applications. Give yourself a date & time to leave the relationship. Then work backwards. What must you do each day or week to make this a reality?)

Step 4: Get Help. ( Speak with a counselor, minister, or rabbi. Most colleges and universities offer affordable counseling that is based on your income or lack thereof. There are even programs where psychotherapy students in their last year of school will offer discounted sessions to clients. I found a wonderful counseling student at Columbia University & paid less than $10 a session for the entire summer)

Step 5: Lean on people you can trust. ( Join a support group or speak with friends and family who will respect your privacy & want the best for you. I highly recommend Meetup.com a free site that connects you with people in your local area who share you interests. Meetup has everything from belly dancing to child abuse survivor support groups.)

Step 6: Celebrate You! (You have the courage to move forward & are no longer accepting abusive behavior. Try not to become the abuser and bully yourself into healing before you are ready. Take it slow. Grab a pocket notebook and write down your mini victories. Did you find a great counselor? Fun support group? A new job? Perhaps you're finally laughing again and enjoying life. Celebrate! You deserve it!)

Finally, just understand that we all have ups and downs. All relationships are learning experiences.

As we mature and evolve people move into our lives & out of our lives.

It's all a part of the cycle.

Chances are the relationship you have chosen to leave was your greatest teacher.

It taught you to love yourself!

RESOURCES & WEBSITES

www.meetup.com

Just type in your city, state, country, and interests & you will immediately be connected to people like you. From yoga to blues, meditation to mommy & me, meetup has it all!

www.kristinecarlson.com

Fabulous support and networking group for women. The creator of this website is the widow of Richard Carlson, Phd; author of the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" book series.

www.thehotline.org

Wonderful domestic abuse website & hotline with many resources. Contact them at: 1.800.799. 7233 (SAFE)

www.dahmw.org

Domestic abuse hotline for men & women. Call 1.888.743.5754

www.innervisionsworldwide.com

Official Website of Iyanla Vanzant, spiritual teacher & relationship expert. I also recommend her book "In The Meantime" all about loving yourself & attracting the relationship that is for your best & highest good.

You are beautiful! Live your light!

If you desire assistance from me, I give soul readings that focus on relationships & loving yourself.

The time is now. Be the true u!

Love Always,

Nicole




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ABOUT ME


I view this blog as a way to connect with others and share experiences. In it, I reflect on acting, life, and the process of creation. I believe we are on this planet to love one another and stretch our souls a bit. So give a little love away today. You'll be glad that you did. Want to Connect with me? Visit my readings page & schedule a session. I look forward to working with you soon!
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