College Admissions Scandal...When Will We Be Enough?
I’ve been thinking a great deal about the college admissions scandal and it really boggles my mind. Not because I’m surprised but more because it brings back memories.
When I was in high school and living in Detroit, all I wanted to do was go to New York and get out of town. I figured I could escape, live in the city that never sleeps, and maybe re-invent myself. I tried to appear confident then but I was incredibly insecure, didn’t think I was that smart, and doubted myself, A LOT.
So, I projected this image of confidence & at times even superiority to try and get by. It was around that time that I accidentally figured out how the law of attraction works. I hadn’t read a book on it or anything but I noticed that things I talked about frequently started to happen. After a while, I would only talk about the things I actually wanted.
What I Learned From A Happily Married Couple
I must confess I love my clients, but I love it even more when my clients fall in love! So, today I decided to share some very sound advice from a happily married couple with the most adorable three-year-old boy I have ever seen! Here's the scoop:
About a month ago I was hanging out at my favorite coffee shop, chatting with the owner, when his sister walked in. For the article's sake we'll call his sister Cathy Dunbar (obviously not her real name). I'd never met Cathy before, but her bubbly energy and brash sense of humor were infectious. We quickly fell into an easy conversation about the highs and lows of crazy winter weather and shortly after that she introduced me to her husband.
While we were talking, she told me about their young son and how they met through an internet dating site. Once Cathy mentioned online dating, my interest was piqued.
Thoughts on the Spiritual Life...
It is late afternoon as I write this. I am in Bucharest, Romania preparing for a day of readings. Light streams through my window as the distant chatter of neighbors slyly beckons me outside. I resist the urge to join them but listen for the infectious laughter of school children returning from a day of studies.
A chorus of voices rise & fall as the gentle hum of a car passes by. Laughter reaches a fever pitch as conversations begin to wrap up. Slowly, their voices begin to fade. I listen intently as neighbors say goodbye & make their way inside for the evening.
It’s quiet now and the room is still.
My spirit soaks up the moment and my eyes land on an empty page.
Intuition Vs Wishful Thinking
Sometimes, I connect with clients who insist their intuition is urging them to go down a particular path. When I look at it psychically and see the opposite they are often confused. During those moments I take some time to explain the difference between an intuitive hit and wishful thinking. I’d like to share some of this with you too!
The main difference between wishful thinking & intuitive insight is how we feel while receiving the information. Often, genuine guidance produces a settled, still sensation in the body. Whereas, wishful thinking often creates an antsy, tense sensation in the physical body.
Additionally, intuitive information is usually devoid of emotion. This is because it comes from the soulful part of us that sees the deeper meaning in what we’re experiencing. The eternal side of us is not scared, anxious, or judgmental about the outcome.
Soul Mates & Life Partners
The topic of soulmates often comes up during spiritual sessions. Clients usually emerge after a relationship that held so much promise ends abruptly. They are then left wondering what actually happened. To their own recollection, there were no signs of trouble in paradise; just a seemingly blissful relationship that felt magnetic, familiar, and perfect for them at the time.
When I look at these situations psychically and view not only the pain of the client but also the pain and mutual confusion shared by their former partner, the answer becomes clear.
They were not meant to be life partners & soulmates. They were meant to be soul mates for a time.
Upon delivering this information clients will often question the validity of the statement and want to know more.
As the session progresses, I explain that soulmates are anyone and everyone who stretches our soul, teaches us lessons, and helps us grow spiritually. They can be romantic in nature or strictly platonic. Friends, family, co-workers, and yes, even pets can be our soulmates. Why? Because their presence stimulates spiritual growth by changing the way we look at the world and deepening our capacity for love, forgiveness, and healing.
There are soulmates who are meant to be with us for a short time because they have a very specific lesson to teach us. This is quite common when we look at romantic partnerships that only last the spring or summer. In many cases, the purpose is to teach us how to have fun, enjoy life, and not cling so tightly to what we think the ideal outcome should be.
However, as the relationship is clearly coming to a close, both parties may try to prolong the experience while simultaneously watching it fall apart. The truth is, it was meant to dissolve because lessons have been dispensed and now it is time to learn them, accept them, and move on to the next chapter of life.
That brings me to the subject of life partners. Life partners are soul mates but with a twist. Their purpose is to build a life with us that helps stretch and grow our souls over time. Their soul mission is intertwined with our own and by the sheer nature of that fact, they stick around for the long haul. For example, life partners often marry or opt to have very long term relationships with each other. In many cases they also raise children (biological or otherwise) and build businesses together.
Those experiences not only build a life, they grow the soul by teaching patience, commitment, and unconditional love. The souls involved choose that specific path because it is the most effective way to learn the spiritual lessons they need within the span of their lifetime.
It is important to remember that no matter how things may appear we are guided by the soul and if we watch closely, it will lead the way.
What Traveling Taught Me About Self Love...
It was the spring of 2013. At the time, I was living in New Orleans; a city brimming with magic, mysticism, and hope. I arrived there just 8 months prior (at the urging of spirit), and quickly began offering readings and spiritual teachings to tourists and locals alike. I became so enraptured with the beauty of the crescent city and my budding success as a reader, that I never wanted to leave. Yet, just as the sweetness of a New Orleanian summer settled in, my soul began to stir and the urge to travel surfaced once more.
This time I was bound for Europe, Italy to be exact. I planned to travel through the northern part of the country before making my way to central Italy in late summer but the details were not set in stone. As I pondered that further, the reasons for this sojourn slowly came into focus. Could it be possible that the purpose of this voyage was to have a greater understanding of self love & could it also be possible that traveling alone could elicit such a powerful learning experience?
I ruminated on those questions as the weeks went by and prepared for what was to be a pilgrimage of sorts. In time, I found myself on foreign soil & arrived in Milan with no Italian to speak of. Clumsy but determined, I traipsed through the Milanese streets trying to speak a broken language while soaking up the chaotic city life. I watched the street performers dance for euros & the Italian girls take an aperitvio while telling the guys to stay back. I traveled to Venice and then Trieste, a tiny town nestled in the hills & surrounded by bright blue sea. I didn’t talk much to anyone at times. I just listened to my own heartbeat & learned to breathe easy.
Some time later, I ventured to church and spoke with spirit as Mother Mary looked on and blessed my journey. I lit a candle and spoke with Santa Rita Di Cascia, the patron saint of seemingly impossible tasks. She loved the smell of roses, had a penchant for helping the poor, and seemed quite confident I would return to Italy permanently in due time.
Finally, I ventured to Florence, the birthplace of the Italian Renaissance and made my way to Piazzale Michelangelo, the tallest point in the city. While looking out onto the Italian countryside, I felt the answers come in layers, dancing in waves and realized there were only a few short days left in the trip.
Tired, but happy, it became clear that I was searching for something that would change me for the better. I had not come to find myself exactly, that much was clear. However, it seemed the point of it all was to become bigger than my body; to become bigger than my country & more expansive than the confines of race, religion, & the status quo would allow. I suppose I was on a quest to fully accept myself & embrace the divine energy flowed through my spirit & gave my body life.
Love, it seemed, was not about a man or a family or a relationship to call my own. Not yet at least. Love was and is about approving of the self. It is about listening to the urgings of the soul, having adventures (no matter how small) and going where we are guided.
In a world where are told to be quiet, to sit down, and to hide, loving oneself is the most revolutionary act any of us can take. Trusting the self is an act of love. It lights us up & inspires others to take chances too. Stumbling, falling, and getting lost along the way is also a part of the path. Whether that be traveling through Europe or traveling across town to meet someone new, it is a bold, brave thing. It is a fierce type of love that scatters the darkness, connects us with others & leads us into the light.
In Italian they say, “Vivere la Luce,” and it means, To Live the Light. You see, when we live the light, we love ourselves and our example gives humanity permission to do the same.
Florence Italy, 2014 Photo by Nicole Bowman