Posted by Nicole Bowman on Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Many people have endured relationships that were/are abusive in nature.

Whether it be friends, family, or work related the sting of verbal and physical abuse is the perfect opportunity to take your power back & reclaim your authentic self.

The first step lies in identifying the abusive behavior.

Here are some warning signs:

  1. Does the person alienate your from the outside world (ie: supportive friends & family) and insist that you only spend time with them?
  2. Does the person physically attack you and blame you for their outbursts?
  3. Does the person downplay your intelligence, physical appearance, or religious pursuits?
  4. When you question the above mentioned behavior (#3) does the person insist that you are "too sensitive?"
  5. Does the person label the physical and verbal attacks as "normal?"
  6. Does the person drain your finances with their lavish spending and make no financial contribution to the household?
  7. Does the person threaten you with more abuse/ending the relationship if you discuss the abusive behavior in public?
  8. Does the person discourage therapy or other forms of healing/conseling to resolve the issues?

The bottom line is that once you recognize the abuse, staying in the relationship becomes a choice.

Regardless of who the person is, the abuse is not worth your happiness.

After years of suppressing the anger & rage I felt while living in a physically and verbally abusive relationship I finally chose to take my power back.

I confronted the person and asked them why they treated me that way. Their response was eye opening. Even as I gave them example after example of the abusive behavior they continued to downplay, deny, or excuse the way that they treated not only myself but countless others.

They explained that they had healed and moved past it, stating that they were a different person.
Intuitively, I sensed that this was untrue, they were indeed the same person, but opted to ignore their own  poor behavior because it was too difficult to face what they had become.

They blamed parents, significant others, even children (for the abuse) and at the end of the day I went away feeling drained and tired.

I finally realized that I can no longer have this person in my life on any level.

They are still an abuser & until they come to terms with the whole truth they will live in a state of unrest.

The greatest advice I can give in instances like this is to leave. No matter who it is. It is not worth your happiness. Cut all ties if you must, but at the end of the day just do what feels right for you.


Nicole Bowman is an artist, intuitive, and student of life. She gives intuitive readings for the soul, composes original music, and is the creator of books that bless.

The Circle, is Nicole's first literary work and it is now available in ebook form. 

She is also the host of Live the Light, a radio show about life, love, and living your bliss on the Blog Talk Radio Network.

To schedule an intuitive reading, listen to radio broadcasts, or support Nicole's healing practice visit:


"Always remember to live your light & love yourself!"



I view this blog as a way to connect with others and share experiences. In it, I reflect on acting, life, and the process of creation. I believe we are on this planet to love one another and stretch our souls a bit. So give a little love away today. You'll be glad that you did. Want to Connect with me? Visit my readings page & schedule a session. I look forward to working with you soon!
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